Reading Carol Gilligan's "Woman's Place in Man's Life Cycle" was very interesting and exhilarating. She quoted many well known physiologists; so with their research combined with her own the essay grabbed the attention of their readers right away. The information given was so fascinating and proven to be true over and over again in history it was hard to disagree with her findings and the findings of the physiologists she quoted.
To answer the question of differences between men and women in terms of the way the hold relationships I will use a quote that is so very true it made me laugh a bit, “Thus males tend to have difficulty with relationships, while females tend to have problems with individuation” (Gilligan 804). Through the information found during research, Gilligan and the others found that separation from their mothers at a young age, by four or so, is crucial to the normal, masculine development of boys and men. Whereas for girls who grow into adult women, the feminine identity is similar to their mothers, and we get the opposite affect than boys; girls cling to the mothers and identify themselves as being female from their mothers, hence no individuation latter on (Gilligan 803-804).
The separation of boys and the clinging of girls makes complete sense. I associated the processes of masculinity and feminine identification with the known facts that all of us when we were little girls tried on our mothers high heels and attempted to walk around the house just as she did. Then for little boys they tend to only need their “mommies” if they get hurt playing their own individual games that does not include their mothers. Latter on in their intimacy and relationships it makes total sense that men are more independent; it is all they have known throughout their lives since age four. Where women are more prone to adopt features of their mates so they both have a lot in common and the men are more easily happy and do not leave the relationship; so there again is this clinging that women naturally posses. From Chodorow’s analysis, Gilligan quotes, “As a result, in any given society, feminine personality comes to define itself in relation and connection to other people more than masculine personality does” (Gilligan 803).
This quote instills further that latter on since males grow up being independent, they are going to have closeness and commitment issues in their relationships. Whereas women grow up adopting their feminine characteristics from other people they are close to, hence latter in their relationships with males, they are the ones comfortable with commitment, but have separation issues. This is why it is sad to see that throughout history, women will do what ever it takes to keep their men around, even when it is not healthy for themselves; from relationships such as these spawn abuse and neglect for women.
I enjoyed this essay it had a lot of information I already knew, but told and analyzed in different ways. Gilligan elaborated on the reasons men and women are they way they are in relationships and in life in general. It was so interesting to see these facts proven true. I feel as though I now have a better understanding of the opposite sex, and I can see why women are they way they are. Although, some boys and girls break the typical separation and clinging barriers, and grow up to be different than the researches usually found; so it goes to show that the way children are raised and influenced while young has everything to do with who they are latter in life. It also shows that not every man and women in the world grow up the same and have the same outcome.
Gilligan, Carol. "Woman's Place in Man's Life Cycle." From "In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development." A World of Ideas: Essential Readings for College Writers. Ed. Lee A. Jacobus. 7th ed. New York: Bedford/ St. Martin's, 2006. pp 797-819.